Our female mate Renate is lucky. She has got two new brother: The father is found.

Watch the first meeting Dezember 2017. It is on you tube.

Text "SO MANY" by Winfried Behlau

Text "ACTUALLY" abstract book "Anton"

The clip starts at the end again to avoid the disturbing commercials.

So many

When I was young, I thought, I am the only one.

Now I am old and know there are millions like me.

Many of us died before we were born.

Many of us missed the love of a mother. For sure, most of us also missed not only the existence, but the love of a father.

Many of us survived.

Many of us kept the secret.

Some of us unchained our closed lips, talked to the world and were given peace within ourselves.

Talking gave us our freedom back.


My father: unknown Soviet soldier

My mother: German widow, husband died in Russia 1942, was raped 1945

I:  closed lips for more than six decades and started talking about the dark secret of my life. I gave history my voice – with thanks.


"Anton: "Actually..."

Actually, I have seven fathers. That’s how many fell over my mother.


Actually, we – she and I – should not be alive. The last one wanted to shoot her.


Actually, only one of the seven stopped him. I wish he were my father.


Actually, I still cannot talk about it. But

it comes out of me like a scream.


Actually, I want some help. Maybe I will

still be able to talk. Before I die.


            Maybe ….